employer: why should we hire you?
me: i got first place on Rainbow Road
employer: holy shit
don’t you hate it when youre in a relationship but the other person doesn’t know
when you get excite for the pokemon
today a teenage white boy looked me straight in the face, pointed at himself, winked at me, and said “so how about helping papa bear with his math homework?” and i think i was speechless for a total of 10 seconds before telling him i dont associate with people who call themselves papa bear
i kinda just wanna sleep for 48203847 years and dream about the perfect guy and our perfect life i mean is that too much to ask for
*sees a pic of a skinny person* *inspired for 11 seconds*